Neko Case

I was taken to see Neko Case on Saturday at The Granada.  I was already in love with her music, but the show made me a believer once more.  The experience, to say the least, was transcendent.  Her voice was more ethereal and clear in person than even on her albums.  The audience was in utter awe and silent at times, and at other times dancing and clapping along.

Neko, your songs are lullabies to me.

I don't know, but that's ok...

This is a blog for all the people who have told me the following about my art:

"you should do it"
"you should totally do it"
"you should freakin' do it already!"

I am thankful to say that you all are in the majority.

I think it's easy to believe you are alone in the process. When I work on art, my mind closes off to the outside world. It's like meditating and those moments when you are most aware and also at the most peace. It's a difficult feeling to place and create, but once it's there, you cannot help but want to sustain it.

I work too hard to give myself even more of a hard time. I do not want to be the world's most well-known artist or a wealthy one. I want to express the ideas I have. It's like I've spun a magic wand and all the things I see and acknowledge and want to incorporate into my art all start flying towards me.

My head hurts often. A certain someone has told me that I think too much; I think that person is right (most of the time). I've been a bit afraid to express what I actually think and feel. Perhaps it is too difficult to visualize or vocalize. Maybe it's because I'm afraid of failure. I have to keep reminding myself, though, that ideas are evolving.

Conclusion:  I'm going to freakin' do it already.

Whiteboard + dry erase markers = crazy art space

I was given some space and time to work on art ideas whilst in Lubbock.  Here are my drawings that might soon become reality...

Chrysanthemum

Today, I sawed out a chrysanthemum out of brass that is approximately 3" x 4".  It will probably be part of a jewelry sale I'm doing this autumn, as well as future production pieces. My neck aches from leaning over it for over 2 hours. However, I think it's beautiful...

It's all useless pomp and circumstance...

I drove over 5 hours to reach the city of Lubbock earlier this week.

It's been sweater weather and rainy here.

I've been reading books, doing defensive driving online (oh the fun of it), working on jewelry and metal stuff.  I saw the metalsmithing studio at Tech and it was amazingly new and beautiful.

I skipped town not only to visit my boyfriend, but also to isolate myself from my home.  The idea of home is so ambiguous though.  This city reminds me of Lancaster, CA, which I could concede made up some important years of my youth.  

It's weird to be smacked in the face with such nostalgia.  But it's a breathing opportunity for me.  A way to reflect.  Sometimes I feel like I'm abandoning the people I love the most when I go on these little excursions.   And I'm always at a loss for explanation.  This is just how I am, I suppose.  

Maybe a humorous metaphor could be that I'm covered with starfish that represent all the things I have to do and I feel claustrophobic and deem it necessary to peel them off one by one.  And then I run like the wind.

All the number of decisions I'm trying to make have become greater exponentially.  I have to constantly fight my own head and internal indecisiveness: I could do that, but I could do that instead...

I'm grateful for all the chances that come my way, but sometimes I hope a door closes somewhere to help me out.  Maybe then I'll be able to focus.

After all this re-evaluation, perhaps I will return to a place where I make a bit more sense and I'm more informed.  

In the meantime, I'll be dancing around my room listening to music.