The Beginning is the End is the Beginning.

I took my GRE this morning and did better than average, which is basically good enough for me. I feel like I'm in a video game, where I finished one level and now have to proceed to the next. Only, it's much harder, the monsters are scarier, and it will take a lot of strategy. Thankfully, I have already initiated the process by applying to schools in advance. I have three more applications to complete, two of which are in the North Texas area. I had not come to mental collapse over this test, thank goodness. Now, I can concentrate on the projects I put aside in order to focus on studying. For example, a new art piece I had started. Below is the bluish wash I put on a 3 foot x 4 foot canvas. I'm hoping to get even more detail-oriented with this piece than the last one. I will also vary the shapes of the collage elements I use. It will be interesting if I can actually manage a cohesive set of work in this collage vein. Regardless, it keeps me sane to work on something that isn't graduate school or work related.

I will keep everyone posted...

Contextually Conceptual or The More Oxygen Available, the Better

It's been awhile since I've written something profoundly personal blog-wise. I know much of this goes out into the void and is impersonal in that respect, but I figured I would spare a moment to vent a bit.

I take the GRE (Graduate Record Examination) in less than a week. Understandably, I'm having some anxiety over this test. Not because I'm a bad test-taker, because the opposite is true. However, this is a culmination of things that I have wanted so badly and things I thought I wanted badly. I feel like someone who is coming closer to getting on a roller-coaster, with all the mixed feelings of fear, excitement, dread, and joy.

I've been enjoying my internship at The Modern so much, I'm already sad about it coming to an end in May. This has made rethink my path as an artist, a researcher, and a teacher. I've been all three in the present, juggling my responsibilities of my day job, bouncing around concepts and ideas while I carry around books like a waitress. I have a romanticism for my own future and its possibilities. A former professor of mine even ventured forth the following: "your wingspan will never be greater than it is now." I've taken this to heart and hope that I will not disappoint anyone. I realize on some level, this is ridiculous, because the only person I can truly disappoint is myself. I like to think I've done a bang-up job of respecting myself. However, there are these two little words that create, quite possibly, the most complex phrase in the English language: "What if?"

In a different realm, I'm still working on my theories about how intrinsic context is to concept. A single example I can make of this correlates with oral history. You know how in anyone's family a story is passed down from generation to generation, a semblance of embellishment takes place? I would argue that the truth is not neglected, but perhaps the viewpoint has changed. If the viewpoint has changed and appears as truth to that person, isn't that as powerful as the original truth?

I have been researching art, artists, and history lately in hopes to understand some correlations. For example, I just completed Monuments Men by Robert Edsel. I was fascinated by the plight of a few smattering of men, thrown into different parts of the military, for the sole purpose of finding, protecting, and in many cases, repatriating, some of the world's most precious art. It has renewed my interest in art as something more than a process, but something that represents cultures and freedom. I have a few books on my bedside table at this point, most currently Pop: The Genius of Andy Warhol by Tony Scherman and David Dalton. I'm reading it in hopes to gain some insight before the upcoming Warhol exhibition opens at The Modern on Valentine's Day. Again, another scenario where I think context is associated with concept. The book is focused on Warhol's earlier years, while the exhibition will be on his later years.

I am reminded of being in art school, where I slept, ate, bled, cried, and dreamt art. The physicality of creating art constantly, for personal reasons, and for deadlines, was sometimes a daunting process. I remember being outside of the wood shop at school during winter and accidently hammering a nail through the tip of one of my fingers. I didn't notice because my fingers were so numb, but when I started bleeding all over the wood, I remember thinking: "oh God, I've come to a point where I don't realize that I'm hurting for the sake of art." Needless to say, I was more careful later on, especially in the metals studio. Will it be too raw to continue those art studies? More specifically, do I have it in me?

Lots of decisions need to be made, but I will decide each one as they come.

The trick is to keep breathing...

Onto the next.

The piece I started awhile ago is all finished and in the middle of being judged for the 500x Expo Show, so cross your fingers. The next few pics include the finished piece and then a shot with an addition of acrylic paint. It will be interesting to see how these pieces continue. I plan to collage for the next piece as well, but now I'm experimenting with layers of acrylic as part of the background and foreground. I also plan to create some more tongue-in-cheek commentary. Photos will be posted in progress...stay tuned.

And they're off...!

So, a proverbial horse race is beginning this month. However, all great and fantastic things are developing. To name some in no particular order:

1. Dyed my hair red, for fun, and to truly keep the "redhotflame" moniker that I adore so much...

2. Continuing with the internship at The Modern with the Teen-Artist Program. Hopefully the new blog in the works for them will be connected to this one so everyone can see their progress.

3. Still working on the new art piece that is nearly complete. This will be entered in the call for artists at the 500x gallery in Dallas. http://www.500x.org

4. Upcoming GRE test (yikes!) and more graduate school applications flying through the post office.

5. Finally, I found out that my interview for Art Conspiracy, along with other artists, was posted on the KERA Art & Seek website. Maybe my camera-shyness is disappearing...?

Art Conspiracy: The Artist Interviews

More pics below of the new art piece, enjoy.

Progress...

So, the new piece I have been working on is a slow and tedious process. However, with that said, I'm enjoying making it immensely. It's a collage on a 2' x 3' canvas. Once the collage is complete, I plan on applying paint to the surface, perhaps Rauschenberg-style. I will keep you posted on its completion. For now, here are photos of its progress:

It's a Conspiracy!

What a glorious day, albeit a chilly one, creating an art piece for Art Conspiracy! I had been collecting bits and pieces of paper and old magazines for a future piece that I had never gotten around to producing. I brought all those pieces and some glue to the warehouse today to cover the space of an 18 x 18 inch piece of plywood. It has been awhile since I've completed an art piece. Lately, it has felt like I have all the words I need, but I don't know how to put them into a sentence or a paragraph. Today was a culmination of my own artistic intentions and musings. I was finally able to express exactly what I wanted to express. It took nearly 6 hours of cutting and pasting and varnishing in a warehouse, but the finished product was well worth it. The camaraderie of working next to my fellow artists elevated the experience immensely.

Paper, as of late, has become an important art material to me. It gives me an opportunity to be a bit of a magpie and collect bits that interest me, the chance to save things for a rainy day. Recycling wrappers and packaging, each with their own artistic sensibilities, is pleasant to me conceptually. The idea of turning trash to treasure has always been intriguing, especially when I can use the bits artistically.

I decided to create a mandala using kirigami (where paper is cut into) as my focal point and build magazine cutouts around it. The mandala was intended as a spiritual object to signify not only my own attitudes towards creating it, but also to coincide with the non-profit organization Resolana. Resolana is a Dallas-based organization that provides rehabilitative programs for incarcerated women. My hope is that the mandala will both symbolize and inspire rehabilitation.

http://www.artconspiracy.org
http://www.resolana.info

As a note, I was filmed and photographed during this process. If some of it surfaces, I apologize in advance, I'm a bit camera-shy.

Ok, enough explanation, on to the next paper project!

Boston & Miscellany

So, a certain person who shall remain nameless, mentioned to me the other day that I do not keep up with my blog. Alas, in faux-exasperation, I will be more diligent about writing the random things that just pop into my head and the general stuff going on.

For starters, I came back from Boston a couple of weeks ago. It was definitely good for me to be alone and moving through a city I've never experienced before. The school I visited presented about everything I expected and wanted in a library science program. So before you can snicker, yes, I will eventually be holding a giant sign saying: "I want to be a librarian!" This sign can be with bright colors, glitter, and glow-in-the-dark paint if you insist, because you can take a girl out of art school, but you can't take art school out of a girl.




I'm a point where I'm ready for a profession. But I cannot separate myself from the art world, nor would I want to be removed from it. Somehow I feel more free artistically, knowing that I can have a life separate from my profession. Therefore, art will remain an intrinsic part of my bodily and spiritual self.

This year thus far has been a drill sergeant to me. The whistle keeps blowing and I have no choice to keep moving forward. Both emotionally and physically. My health is still in flux, but not impossible to control, for which I'm utterly grateful.

I've completed all the necessary preparations for getting into grad school, except taking the GRE, which I will take sometime in the new year. I'm applying to 4 schools: 1 here, 3 out of state, including the one I visited in Boston. The reality of leaving my friends and family behind scares me, but I know that sometimes risks just have to be taken, regardless of possible outcomes. Let's just say, I'll be smart about it. I'm not going to run off to another state for the hell of it. It will be legitimized, but scary none-the-less.

And now for some titillation (pun intended)...

I plan to put my senior metals studio work (aka Project X) for sale on Etsy: raised copper "breasts" with enamel. I hope to do this sometime in December or January...



Heck yes.